By Jen Malone
The original idea was to go to the brewpub along the main drag in Conshohocken, but inclement weather faded our plans. Since when does it snow in Philadelphia? Hopefully we’ll get there next week. Meanwhile, we decided to stay close to home. Maybe a little too close. So we ended up at Mallory’s, on Lancaster Avenue in Bryn Mawr. It may be considered Bryn Mawr’s equivalent to Roaches, but we didn’t see any Haverfordians there, and the bartender derisively commented on Haverford’s lack of attendance. So for all of you who don’t frequent Mallory’s, here’s the scoop.
After sliding along Lancaster Avenue, in the car and on foot, we were lucky to arrive at Mallory’s without injury. We were carded by a bouncer employing an oh-so high-tech flashlight to check for valid IDs. Note: underage ‘Novan’s were quickly turned away at the door.
It was 10:30 by the time we got there, but the bar was still fairly empty, and there was an older crowd, mostly men, lining the bar. Luck for us, a table was free. Two hours later, the place was packed with ‘Novans, Mawrters and random stragglers.
Mallory’s is kind of like an upscale Roaches: a little cleaner, a little brighter, but generally the same ambiance. And there is no equivalent of the strange woman who lives between the doors of the bathroom at Roaches.
Mallory’s is a fairly small room, with no dance space, but then, the jukebox music didn’t really inspire dancing. It’s more like background bar music-noise. Mallory’s does have an upstairs, but it was unfortunately closed when we were there. And a complete aside - it has one of those old-fashioned cigarette machines that took us all back to our hometown high school diners. Or was that only for us Jersey girls?
Like a lot of local bars, Mallory’s is a restaurant as well as a bar, serving hoagies, salads and anything fried before 11 p.m. on weekdays and until midnight on weekends.
Busy nights, according to the bartender, are Tuesdays, and Thursday through Saturday. Miller Lite, Sam Adams, Yuengling and Bud are on tap, and we paid $10.00 for a pitcher of Sam Adams and $7.50 for a pitcher of Miller Lite. For you high-maintenance drinkers, an Amaretto Sour went for $3.75: a good price, but the drink was a disappointment for its lack of a cherry. For designated drivers, the bartender told us that she only makes you pay for the first soda.
If you are lucky, annoying people behind you will try to swap Brad’s nasty birthday cake for the Girl Scout cookies conveniently sold at the bar. Note: Thin Mints and beer are an acquired taste. As for the ambiance at Mallory’s, if you listen closely, you can hear the, “How youuu doin?”
Like the very friendly bartender told us, “You come in here, you’ll get your horizons broadened.” Grrr.
