By Nina Zipkin
On Wednesday evening, the Hepburn Center and the Departments of Psychology and Film Studies at Bryn Mawr co-sponsored a screening of the documentary film “My Big Break” in Carpenter 21. A question and answer session with director Tony Zierra and producer Elizabeth Yoffe was held after the film.
Alternately heartbreaking, disconcerting and probing, “My Big Break” chronicles the rise, fall and eventual equilibrium of the lives and careers of Zierra and his four former roommates as they tried to make names for themselves in Hollywood.
The project began in the late 1990s, when the friends moved to California. Zierra’s housemates, actors Brad Rowe ("Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss"), Greg Fawcett, Wes Bentley ("American Beauty) and Chad Lindberg ("October Sky") spent their days auditioning and attending acting classes, and goofing around like the 20-something guys they were, in their constantly messy Hollywood bachelor pad. Zierra captures every moment of those early days, like Lindberg’s visit to a psychic, Fawcett’s holidays at home with his family, and house meetings, in which the roommates try to decide who will do what chores, until giving up in exasperation.
Now in limited release, what Zierra has created is a documentary that is unique because he isn’t just a passive observer of what goes on around him. Zierra is an active part of his friend’s lives, and in the documentary, which he delivers via video diaries, that show him at his most vulnerable. He also narrates the film. Zierra masterfully weaves together dialogues with his friends, interviews with managers, directors, professors of psychology, and candid footage to form a cohesive narrative.
While the careers of Zierra and his friends make for fascinating subject matter, what happens after the fame and acclaim, and when everyone verges on their breaking point, is what makes the movie not some cut-and-dry “Entourage” type of outing. Zierra establishes what kind of work lives these men have very quickly. Lindberg is the excellent character actor and hero in his small hometown, but wishes he could be a leading man. Rowe has the acting chops to do good work, but his looks get him typecast as a Brad Pitt wannabe. When the jobs stop coming as frequently, he struggles, and is forced to take roles in B-movies to make rent.
Julliard-educated Bentley becomes recognizable almost overnight after his role in “American Beauty,” but he isn’t ready for the exposure. He retreats inward, feeling burdened by the demands of Hollywood. He says, “I hope it’s not too late for me to have a normal life…I miss real.”
Fawcett is the lone member of the group who doesn’t achieve the same level of success as his friends. Cocky but endearing, Fawcett loves the craft, but just can’t seem to get it right. He must battle with jealousy as he watches his friends get more work than him. In one of the rawest scenes in the film, an angry Fawcett melts down, stripping of his clothes and running in a deserted field until he is exhausted, trying to prove what he is made of.
In 2001, Zierra finished a cut of the current film and titled it “Carving Out Our Name.” The film garnered a lot of buzz and was an early success, but quickly thereafter Zierra was dropped from his representation and the movie folded. Zierra went into his own tailspin, but eventually found his way out. He then went back to his friends to see where they were in 2008.
Lindberg, who hasn’t had a studio film in five years, says he’s learned to appreciate every moment of his life. He gets plastic surgery to reconstruct his face in a way that makes him look more “leading man” and hopes that the change will give him more acting opportunities.
Rowe’s career has slowed down, but he’s been sober for years. While he looks more serious and guarded, he still maintains a sense of humor about his life.
Bentley didn’t sit for a 2008 interview at all. He and Zierra still speak once in a while, but he keeps very much to himself.
Fawcett, despite it all, seems the most at ease with his lot in life. Married and living in Vancouver, he’s a working actor, and seems calmer and more focused.
The audience of about 50 students, faculty, and community members were very receptive to the film. All stayed after the movie to chat with Yoffe and Zierra.
What I liked most about the movie was that it wasn’t just about making it, or the bitterness that comes with losing fame, but about knowing who you are, using what life hands to you, revising expectations, and growing up.
This article is © 2008 The Bi-College News. The material on this page is free for personal or educational use, but may not be reproduced, reprinted, republished, redistributed, or otherwise transmitted to a third party without the express written permission of The Bi-College News, 370 Lancaster Ave, Haverford, PA 19041.
Editor's note: Articles that appear in the Last Word section are works of satire.
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March 12th, 2009 at 9:53 am
TONY ZIERRA IS A SELF ABSORBED DIRTY THIEF
Tony made an agreement, from the beginning, with his roomates. That agreement was that everyone had the right to veto the use of ANY footage that person deemed too personal or inappropriate, after all this wasn’t intended to be a lowly VH1 reality series. It was intended to be a group effort documentary. Tony wrote up contracts that were signed for back points and that agreement of the power of veto was in each Produce/Cast member’s contract.
This made it comfortable if Tony pulled out the camera a random times and allowed us to live a real life with real friends having fun with cameras and catching stuff that could be used effectively and fairly. And to Tony’s credit the 2001 cut was made with all that in mind. It showed in Toronto on Sept. 10 2001 with great reaction. The problem was America was attacked early the next morning as we know. Any thought of buying and selling movies became petty. Later, it could be seen Tony was less effected by the tragedy than he was that his project was lost in the rubble. The beginning of signs that pointed to Tony’s Nasty Narcissism. And although the rest of us remember that time as vital because we at least were together, Tony was scarred for the reasons only fame could solve.
He had a violent downward spiral. Suicidal. Quietly you could see the hope he had drained out of him. And he lashed out at us. Instead of understanding the momentum factor, he blamed the inability to sell it on the vetos. Tony began to speak openly about suicide and, i being his closest friend at the time became very worried. He seemed serious. I missed a late night call from him one night in March of 2003. And that was the last i heard from him, or so i thought.
He disappeared into thin air. Literally gone overnight. I checked my voicemail and found a very dark message, Very dark. He ditched out on the house at Masselin Ave. and Olympic, leaving my brother, who had very little means at the time having just moved there to deal with rent and getting out of the lease. This didn’t seem like something he would do, so the worry mounted about suicide.
We called and called. Asked around if anyone had a clue. We got nothing.
It wasn’t until a month later we realized ALL THE FOOTAGE WAS GONE AS WELL. Did he burn it first? Did he leave it with someone safe? Did someone steal it? It was years later before we had to find the truth out ourselves. He ran off it. All 5 years of it. Thousands of tapes. Who knows how many hours. He ran of with much more personal things than the sheer volume. He ran off with our privacies, our friendships, our projects , our youth, and our signed agreements. But before that truth came to light all we had was our imagination and grief for our friend, i hate to admit it now, but we even called each other brothers.
Around 2 years after he disappeared, a miracle, or so it seemed. i found him on a website: maticeye.com. It was a Radical FAR FAR Left political, conspiracy theorist site with a comment about everything you can think of , or rather make-up.
After the joy of realizing he was alive, confusion, hurt and anger followed as to why he never made an attempt to let us know he was breathing. We were the closest thing to family he ever had, and we took that seriously.
Looking through the website i was Surprisingly unsurprised to find an advertisement for a new cut of CARVING, or what was now called MY BIG BREAK, which was obviously showing more of a focus on me, since i was my break was rather ridiculous. He was using me. Now, i know u think”How could this guy not of seen it coming” Cause i wasn’t jaded, still am not. Refuse to be. Its not my fault when someone else does such awful things to use me.
I attempted to reach Tony through the email on the http://www.manticeye.com . I got nothing in return. This was insult to injury, to be ignored after all this fear and these years of not knowing. Next, in attempt to force just at least some dialogue I wrote legal letters telling him to cease with releasing the doc until he speks to us. Still Nothing.
Another 3 years pass.
Then out of nowhere, he returns to LA. AND HE ACTS AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED. He wonders how i could be so upset with him while he “loves ” me/us so much. He doesn’t even acknowledge or apologize for any of the stunts he had pulled. He said he just wanted to reconnect with his life and friends again and come out of that dark place. He missed us and wanted to start anew……just one thing, he needed us all to sign a NEW agreement allowing The new cut for MY BIG BREAK to be released. I refuse to even give it a thought until he admits to the wrongs he had done and showed some kind of serious personality turn around. After all, how are u supposed to trust someone who does these things to “brothers”.
I want to make this next part VERY CLEAR. There is nothing, absolutely nothing i am embarrassed about doing or saying to be seen from those times. Nothing i want to hide. I AM NOT TRYING TO SHUT THIS MOVIE DOWN DUE TO CONTENT. ITS THE PRINCIPAL OF WHICH HE WENT ABOUT DOING IT THAT I REJECT.
After all it was 10 years ago, living an extraordinary existence and doing so clumsily as most of us do in our late teens early twenties. Tony doesn’t deserve to use me or any of us for any gain. He did it the wrong way in a terribly disgusting way. Inexcusable.
Not everyone from the house was with me on this anymore. I’ll try not to speak for their positions. I will say what they explained to me, more or less. They needed it. No matter how bad he did us wrong THEY NEEDED IT. I was alone on this. I believe they adjusted their contracts. I refused still and began to pull away further and further from everyone in the group. I still love the rest of them and miss them. I see our differences drawn from necessity and don’t disrepect what they need., But i can’t fold on this. And since this has seen the light of day and i’ll repeat, none of my complaint is with the Content of the film, (although i did not want to give any sign of respect to Tony by watching it) i see the only thing to do responsibly for this film is at least make it clear how this movie really came to bear. And to make clear i have not withdrawn into Hermit Land. Just like he pretended nothing was wrong, immoral, or self-serving about his disappearance, he would like to continue that guise through the release. When he posts the trailer anywhere, he makes sure any comments made can be censored. I know this as i have tried to write this on several sited including youtube.com. I just hope here my voice on this matter may be heard in the spirit of balance. I am tired now. I would like to one day share more light on this if the doc continues on.
Thank you,
Wes Bentley
.
thank you,
WB
September 11th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I just found out that “My Big Break” will be shown at Boston Film Festival in late September. I will be there, so I was looking for reviews. While I found this particularly interesting and insightful, it was obviously the comment that caught my attention.
I have no way of knowing if it was written by Wes Bentley or someone impersonating him, I tend to believe it is true.
If you read this, may I suggest you to post the same comment on the IMDb messege board? There’s quite a bit of discussion on the documentary going on there, I don’t think it is in any way moderated like youtube and I’m sure, others will like to hear your side of the story.
Wishing you all the best for your life and your work, I hope there will be more movies like Weirdsville and The Last Word. You were brilliant in both.
Take care,
Gaia