By Walker Anderson

FAB Films is a pretty awesome concept. It combines many things I love – movies, free things, sitting, Jason McGraw – which I predict that you, Joe Haverfordian, also enjoy. Here’s a glimpse of what they’ll be bringing us this semester. Just to spice things up, I have included some of the more interesting “plot keywords” attached to these films according to their Internet Movie Database (IMDB) pages.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Exploding Car, Exploding Helicopter, Based On Toy, Ancient Temple, College Freshman, Slow Motion, Vehicle Lifted By Helicopte)

So from what I can tell, I think this movie is about one group of robots fighting another group of robots to decide which group will have to put up with Meghan Fox for the rest of her career. Also, Shia LaBeouf stars as Indiana Jones’ son, for some reason. At the end, a lot of stuff blows up. This also happens during the beginning and middle parts of the movie. I’ll go see it. Fri, 9/25 and Sat, 9/26.

FAB’s Scary Movie Marathon

This is actually a really cool idea. Apparently they’re doing some sort of six-hour marathon of A Nightmare on Elm Street (Claw, Person On Fire), Scream (Disembowelment, Premarital Sex), and Friday the 13th (Axe Murder, Gore). These are films about tall, scary men terrifying unsuspecting teenagers, a concept familiar to anyone who’s tried to attend a party at Lloyd recently. Fri, 10/30.

Julie & Julia. TV Cooking Show, Self Doubt, Soufflé

Meryl Streep plays Julia Child. Sounds like a recipe for a good time! Apparently Meryl is really good in this. Maybe this will be her big break. Fri, 11/6 and Sat, 11/7.

District 9. Tentacles, Civil Rights, Hand Grenade, Mothership, Child in Peril, Buddy Movie, Running

Oh man, this movie is cool. Time to stop joking around. This movie will actually stick with you and keep you thinking about it. I love Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and I kind of feel like this movie is the Close Encounters of our era. The aliens in this movie go after cat food like coke addicts – that’s genius. I can’t really express why I think it’s so genius, but it’s exactly the kind of weird detail that rings true to life. I love how the film seems cobbled together from found footage, I love the characters, I even love the unabashedly silly, over-the-top climax. I want to marry this movie. Something tells me that in a few months, I’ll like it less, but right now at 12:40 AM, I’m sitting in my apartment watching The O.C. for some reason, and I want nothing more than to see this movie again. Fri, 11/20 and Sat, 11/21.

The Hangover. Morning After, Male Rear Nudity, Punched In The Face, Camaraderie, Hostage, Hit With Car Door, Stupidity

A cautionary tale about three tragic figures who lose their innocence in a night of horrific debauchery. As these pathetic shells of men struggle fruitlessly to regain their masculinity, they mask their deep-seated sadness with lighthearted joking. We in the audience can’t help but laugh along, quietly wiping a tear from our eye at the same moment. Shot starkly, this cinematic masterpiece exposes the frailty of the human condition, and holds a mirror up to our own lives. A bold and unusually dark choice for FAB to bring in. Tues, 12/15

There’s something for everybody! Enjoy the movies. Peace out.

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