Recently I was at a bar perfecting the art of people watching. There were three girls standing in a circle, giggling and fluffing their hair; doing everything they could to get attention just short of a neon flashing sign saying “look at me.” Though they were not an uncommon sight, I was intrigued by these girls. Not because of their orange tanned skin or their “color-me-mine” penchant for dramatic heavy makeup, but because of their dynamic.
To the untrained they were simply best buds having a fun night out on the town. But upon closer inspection you can see their true intentions. In the least Twilight Zone way possible,“Christi,” “Nicky,” and “Ditzy” were in fact savage wolves in Barbie doll costumes. Christi had lettuce stuck in her teeth for the first part of the night, yet her friends, upon seeing this, did little to rectify the situation, instead relishing the advantage given to them by having their otherwise beautiful friend look like a fool. When Nicky’s bra strap was hanging out of her shirt, a minor detail, the other girls did nothing to clean up their friend’s look. As for Ditzy, I would half expect her friends to have let her walk around the bar with toilet paper stuck to her shoe for the majority of the night had the friendly bouncer not alerted her to the fact.
In girl world competition seems to increase overwhelmingly as we grow older. Where does true friendship fit in?
Having lost many a good friend to the disease plaguing the nation – coupleitis, a rare strain of infection delivered by bites from the unsightly love bug—I have come to blame men for at least part of the animosity between women. In contemporary interaction seemingly the only way to make yourself look better is to make everyone else around you look worse, or better yet, allow them to do it to themselves. But have our self esteems shrunken so much that we think we are not attractive or desirable unless everyone else looks like a Goonies stunt double?
To back track, I do not mean to suggest that we as a female gender should all bond together in harmony. Thus unity will never happen, nor do I ever wish it to. I understand we all have a judgmental side and don’t mind seeing mean or “deserving” people make jerks of themselves. I find it disturbing, however, to see girls to put their true friendships on the line in order to attract males. Dating shouldn’t be a National Geographic wildlife special, and you should not be the antelope leaving your friend alone at the watering hole during the lion’s dinner time just so you can grope some zebra ass in the bushes.
What prevents us from making true friends? Or when one has them, what causes us to drop them as soon as a boyfriend walks their way? It’s sad to see, but some people seem to view friendship as a consolation prize for not having a boyfriend, a kind of “better luck next time” boxing match award, something to hold onto until the fight starts up again with round two…or seventeen.
To be truthful, at Bryn Mawr especially you would expect to find a strong sense of female comradeship, women understanding that our inherent femininity is something to bond over rather than scorn. But even here this is not necessarily the truth. There shouldn’t be relationship interference between friends, because inevitably when you break up with what’s her face, you’ll be crying be needing someone to whom to cry. Friends are like Jawbreakers in comparison to the Mento you’re trying to bed: they last much longer. So try to put friends before fucking. Just because you’re not getting them between the sheets does not make them something to use in between relationships.
Hood, a senior political science major with a French and economics double minor, can be reached at ejhood@brynmawr.edu.
This article is © 2008 The Bi-College News. The material on this page is free for personal or educational use, but may not be reproduced, reprinted, republished, redistributed, or otherwise transmitted to a third party without the express written permission of The Bi-College News, 370 Lancaster Ave, Haverford, PA 19041.
Editor's note: Articles that appear in the Last Word section are works of satire.
- Column: Girl World Competition
- Letter to the Editor: Diversity Program for Men?
- HC Women, Stop the Hate
- NeighborHood Watch: The Hazards of “Love”
- W.W.H.D.: What Would Hillary Do?
- Living in the Bi-Co Bubble without Regrets
- Wench.com: a discourse on feminism, humor, and just plain bitching
- Letting go and getting something (someone) new
- According to Cosmo, We Are All Bitches
- Small Schools Are Best
Related articles
