By Gossip Girl
Hey there, readers, Gossip Girl here.
I have the juiciest scoop for you. Spotted: the debonair Luke Wilson making his debut on Bryn Mawr’s campus, and what a world for him to trip into.
Only five minutes on campus, and I’ve already received messages that our dashing hero, L, has been seen with a Bryn Mawr girl, a blonde who looks all too familiar. Some say a replica of Elle Woods, all she’s missing is her trusty Bruiser.
I’ve been tipped of a luscious sighting of the couple. One of my most reliable sources sent me this: “Omg you won’t believe it. L and ‘Elle Woods’ are snuggling next to each other in the Cloisters!” Escapades in the Cloisters, your informant has connections to the most exclusive stories.
It’s only 50°F here in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania, but things are starting to heat up.
Hannah Davis BMC ’10, 2cute4u, gushes, “I saw them wearing matching Kabbalah bracelets. He had on a brown button-down shirt, but the second button was unbuttoned. He was totally into her, his hair was kind of messy, but it had all that gel stuff in it.” L is going for a rugged appearance next to his perfectly coordinated sweetheart? It seems like opposites do attract.
While running late to her morning class, Jen Jeong BMC ’11, princessinacastle123, caught a glimpse of them, but she was in a disagreeable mood. “Listen honey, I saw Lukie all up on this chick and I was like uh, no, I know you’re with me. Gosh. People have no respect.” Does L have more than one ladylove at this college? How risqué!
What news do you have for me, xobabygurrrlxo? Alicia Van Sciver BMC ’10: “They were both drinking venti iced coffees at Starbucks and discussing his brother, Owen’s, on-off relationship with Kate Hudson. ‘Elle Woods’ knew one of the baristas, so she got a free drink, but Luke had to pay full price.” Not even a celebrity discount? Life’s tough on the Main Line.
Melani Olivares BMC ’10 spied them “catching a matinée screening of a flick at the Bryn Mawr Film Institute. While waiting to buy tickets, they were talking about her future academic goals.” Looks like L is trying to align his plans with hers, don’t you think, devilishangelzzz?
Julianne Rieders BMC ’10, bigrockcandymountain, recounts their afternoon at Milkboy Café. “They were having an in-depth conversation about existentialism and the current state of the economy.” Quite the intellectuals. I have a feeling this isn’t their first date.
With so many sightings, it’s clear that these two are just inseparable! Rachel Bessner BMC ’10 has more scoop. “Shopping spree in Suburban Square. I noticed them buying massage oils, scented candles, and bubble bath beads. At Williams-Sonoma, she bought a new coffee maker, spatula, and apron. L even tried on the apron, and it looked pretty good on him.”
This just in. xobabygurrrlxo, “While she was at Trader Joe’s, L went inside the Farmers Market to get her flowers. When he left the Market, a group of Lower Merion High School girls excitedly crowded around him to get pictures, but he kept glancing over at ‘Elle Woods,’ who was at the cash register.” Flowers for his girl? What a charmer.
This article is © 2008 The Bi-College News. The material on this page is free for personal or educational use, but may not be reproduced, reprinted, republished, redistributed, or otherwise transmitted to a third party without the express written permission of The Bi-College News, 370 Lancaster Ave, Haverford, PA 19041.
Editor's note: Articles that appear in the Last Word section are works of satire.
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